


Breathing in Space

by FoxRafer



Series: Next Generation VigBean [3]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-21
Updated: 2008-05-07
Packaged: 2017-10-21 22:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/230440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxRafer/pseuds/FoxRafer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, Sean and Viggo were both assigned to the Enterprise-D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Contact

**Author's Note:**

> This is my version of the Enterprise-D, my timeline, definitely not 100% accurate to the real ST universe.
> 
> Written for [**stormatdusk**](http://stormatdusk.livejournal.com/). This is me attempting a more traditional story (with dialogue and everything!). Plus, I will probably only be mentioning some of the actual characters. I absolutely adore Picard and Data and I don't want to butcher them in particular. And yes, I shamelessly stole some of Dr. Pulaski's story line for this chapter.

It had not been the best of days. Having a multi-leg itinerary in order to rendezvous with the _Enterprise_ , Sean expected a few delays and connection problems. But miscommunications and faulty technology had turned the first part of the trip into an absolute nightmare, and now he had been stuck at this outpost for four days waiting for his scheduled shuttle. His patience, long grown thin, was now non-existent.

He did one last check in his cramped guest quarters for any items he may have forgotten. Supposedly his shuttle would be leaving this morning, and he had every intention of being in the shuttle bay early in case it could possibly take off before its scheduled departure. His biggest worry was that the _Enterprise_ would be in transporter range before the shuttle was ready. Once in flight they'd simply let him dock; he had an excuse all prepared for why the pilot needed to come on board for a few minutes. But if he was still on the ground they'd expect him to be turned into some kind of matter stream and have his molecules scattered across the universe. Even thinking about it made Sean break into a sweat.

"That damn shuttle better be ready today," he grumbled as he grabbed his bag and left the room for what he hoped was the last time.

***

The doors to the shuttle bay slid open and Sean found himself entering an empty room. Or rather, a room without any shuttles. Just a few feet inside, a man was squatting on the ground rummaging through a small duffel and quietly talking to himself. The constant stream of words got progressively more agitated until with a grunted curse he picked up the bag and dumped all its contents on the ground.

Sean cleared his throat. "Excuse me."

The man turned around and gave Sean a huge smile as he stood to face him. His hair was slightly too long for Starfleet standards, but he wasn't wearing a regulation uniform either so Sean assumed he was most likely a civilian at the station. There was a calmness that seemed to surround him and much of Sean's irritation from the past few days began to melt away. He was handsome, to be sure, but his eyes are what transfixed Sean. {{Endless and soulful}}, he thought to himself, making an effort to stop staring so blatantly. The man just seemed to smile even more broadly.

"You must be Sean Bean, our new doctor," he said as he walked forward.

Sean shook the offered hand. "I've just been assigned to the _Enterprise_ , yes." The strong grip sent a jolt of electricity up his arm, and even though he didn't want to he forced himself to let go.

The smile on the man's face faltered only slightly as they shook hands, and for a second he looked almost disappointed when they separated. "I'm Viggo. Engineering."

"You're Starfleet?"

Although it seemed impossible, Viggo's smile became brighter accompanied by a hearty laugh. "Don't let the hair or clothes fool you. I'm returning from a mission and definitely need a visit to the barber."

"Sorry, didn't mean to sound so surprised."

"No problem." Viggo turned back toward the confused pile of items.

"Need a hand?" Sean asked, putting his cases down and joining Viggo crouched on the floor.

"I thought I packed something in here and now I can't find it," he replied as he began shifting things around on the floor.

"What is all this stuff?"

"Most of it are things I brought to keep in the Captain's good graces. He's never fully embraced the idea of one his crew going off for months at a time on other assignments so I always make sure to bring back as many archaeological pieces as I can."

Sean picked up a small stone-like figure that felt surprisingly warm to the touch. "You're an engineer and an archaeologist?"

"Cultural sociologist, actually." For a moment Viggo couldn't take his eyes off Sean's hands as the delicate fingers explored the artifact. He began imagining those hands on his skin, kneading and massaging tense muscles, and had to bite back a groan. To distract himself, he started to re-pack the bag. "I, um, I have an affinity for languages, so a couple of times a year I go on these cultural submersion missions, kind of pre-first contact, ya know? Surgically altered, live in the community, minimal field support."

Sean was impressed; it took a lot of skill, intelligence and courage to go on those assignments. He smiled at Viggo's obvious embarrassment at the admiration. "What if you don't know the language? Do you have a universal translator?"

"Yes and no, but it definitely takes a little longer and I often have to make a second visit." He sat back on his heels. "First it's more covert, setting up surveillance equipment and hiding out in a duck blind, listening and learning. I hate that, being cooped up in a box with a bunch of scientists."

Both men laughed, finding their eyes once again drawn to each other. "Yeah, so the post is equipped with translation software and by the time I'm there they've collected enough speech samples to program it and get it working properly. But you can't really learn a language that way; I only use it if something is proving particularly difficult. Even on these first visits I try to convince command to let me move among the people, eavesdrop on conversations or listen to public broadcasts. Then I go back a few months later to live with them, really learn about them and their society, their customs. That's what I've just been doing, so ..." He gestured at his head and smirked, then leaned forward again to move more items into the bag.

Without thinking, Sean reached out and swept Viggo's hair off his forehead. Suddenly realizing what he had done, he abruptly pulled his hand back and stood, awkwardly walking further into the room. "Sorry," he muttered, clutching his hand to retain the sensation of silky strands against his fingers.

Viggo stared at Sean's back, still feeling the slight touch on his forehead. "Don't be."

Sean turned his head and their eyes locked, both taken by the unshuttered honesty they could see within them. It was Viggo who broke the spell, looking back down at the floor. The silence began to grow and Viggo regretted not being able to continue meeting Sean's gaze. He had wanted to walk over to Sean and show him how much he liked his touch, but had been too nervous to act.

"What brings you to the _Enterprise_?" he asked, idly picking up some of the items before putting them back down again.

Sean missed the warmth and desire he saw in Viggo's eyes and wished he hadn't backed away after unconsciously reaching for him. But the soft question was a slight shock, and he was jerked from his thoughts. He had rehearsed a response to this question but now, to this man, it didn't feel right to give his speech. He didn't want any half-truths between them; for some reason he needed Viggo to know everything.

"I served on the _Madison_ for several years," he began, slowly walking away. Viggo froze and quickly looked up at Sean, seeing the evident stress in his posture. "About three years ago I took a sabbatical to teach at Starfleet Academy for a year. And, well, you probably know what happened then."

"Sean ..."

"I remember getting word that the ship had been destroyed. I hadn't even heard that they were being sent to engage the Borg and then all of a sudden they were gone. No survivors. After my year at the Academy was over, I had a chance to be on the _Phoenix_ but the idea of going back, of being on a ship, was too hard." Sean had been walking as he talked, finally reaching the control console at the far side of the room. He bent forward to lean against it, his head slightly bowed. "I kept the post at the Academy for another few months, tried to get my head together, then set out on the _Nobel_. It was a good fit for a while, but I'm ready to be back with a full crew, with varied missions. I'm ready."

Sean's voice trailed off as he repeated the words, as if he was also trying to convince himself. A hand on his shoulder was a welcome surprise, its gentle squeeze an anchor to ground him. Sean took a deep breath then turned around and gave Viggo a slight smile.

"Thanks."

Viggo just nodded and lightly tightened his grip on the doctor's shoulder, for a moment rubbing his thumb along Sean's collar. Without another word, the two men walked back toward the entrance and continued the task of putting the various items back in Viggo's bag.

"There it is," Viggo announced quietly, picking up a small wooden box. "Don't know how I couldn't see it before."

"What's that then?" Sean asked, feeling more settled and at ease, amazed at how comfortable he felt around this man.

"Rumor has it you're a big fan of [kal-toh](http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Kal-toh), Sean."

"Yeah, but how did you ..."

"I have my sources." Viggo gave a sly, teasing smile, and Sean couldn't help but respond with a smile of his own, being pulled further away from his dark memories.

"I was told I'd be escorting you on board since we would both be passing through here. Although," he added conspiratorially, "I'm pretty sure they weren't particularly happy about that. A scruffy lieutenant isn't exactly Starfleet's choice for an official greeter."

"I'll take a 'scruffy' lieutenant over a proper captain any day."

"I'm glad." Viggo's grin softened and he paused for a moment before continuing. "I wanted to do something to show that I knew how to be suitable and refined with the best of them. So I asked a few questions, did a little digging. The Rho'con have a similar game called arcyon and I bought a set for you at the market yesterday. I had a whole formal speech prepared but ..."

He handed the box to Sean who carefully opened the lid and saw the series of copper-colored rods that lay in rows inside. The lid showed a picture of the completed game, the patterns complex and challenging. He looked up at Viggo in amazement. How could this man who had never met him before have instinctively purchased such an extraordinary gift? He must have heard several little tidbits of information from various people, yet he had honed in on the one thing that would be a perfect match.

They looked at each other for what felt like several minutes, neither really knowing what to say but not ready to end this moment. It should have been unnerving, two strangers sitting in silence staring into the others eyes, but instead both found it comforting and welcomed the flood of desire that washed through them.

The chirp of Viggo's communicator made them both jump.

" _Enterprise_ to Lieutenant Mortensen."

Viggo blinked a couple of times then tapped his comm badge.

"Mortensen here."

"Are you and Dr. Bean ready to come aboard?"

"Yes, sir."

"We should be in the Rho'con system in three minutes and ready for transport in five. _Enterprise_ out."

Viggo looked up at the panicked face of his companion. "Sean?"

"Transport?" Sean practically squeaked, not quite sure if he had heard correctly.

"Yes."

"We're going to transport to the ship."

"What's the big deal?"

"I was expecting to take a shuttle."

"We're in an empty shuttle bay. What did you think we were going to do? Build one by hand first."

Sean was getting a little angry now. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Look, we just started talking and to be honest I didn't think it'd be a problem. Why didn't you ask?"

Sean huffed out a breath in agitation, but had to admit Viggo was right. He'd noticed the empty bay as soon as he came in, but speaking to Viggo had completely distracted him. He wondered when was the last time he had been so engrossed in someone that he forgot what was around him or what he was supposed to be doing. He couldn't remember. Shaking his head, he let out a short laugh.

"I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I just ... I really don't want to transport. Isn't there another way for us to go?"

Viggo's eyes lit in recognition. "You have transporter phobia."

"Not so much a phobia. More of a ..." Sean stood and scrubbed his hand across his face a few times. He might feel an affinity toward this man, but there was no way he would let himself fall apart in front of him. There was only one option and he had no choice but deal with it. "We need to get ready to leave," he mumbled, heading back toward the door to retrieve his belongings.

Viggo watched Sean reign in his fear and try to contain it behind his natural strength. He wanted to reassure him but thought it best to let Sean face it in his own way. His communicator beeped just as he finished repacking his case.

" _Enterprise_ to Mortensen."

"Hey there, Chief."

"Viggo! How's our resident nomad?"

"Doing fine. Give us a sec, would you Miles?"

"Only just. There's an ion storm heading our way."

"Understood."

Viggo looked at Sean who stood unnaturally rigid a few steps away.

"Ready?"

Sean gave a curt nod, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"If it helps I'll hold your hand."

Sean barked out a laugh. "Yeah and risk having some of your atoms get mixed in with mine? I don't think so."

"Come on. Would it be that bad to swap little molecular pieces with me?"

"If I swapped anything biological with you it'd have nothing to do with molecules." He snapped his head around and looked at Viggo wide-eyed, a blush beginning to creep up his cheeks.

"Oooh, smooth talker."

They both began to cackle with laughter.

"Shall we?" Viggo asked as they caught their breath.

"Yes, yes let's go."

" _Enterprise_ , two to beam up."

***

As they rematerialized in the transporter room, Viggo glanced over at Sean and saw him visibly relax as he found himself still in one piece.

Riker stepped forward. "Dr. Bean," he said, shaking Sean's hand. "Commander William Riker. Did you have a good trip?"

Sean swallowed hard and coughed to get control of his voice. "Yes, it was fine."

"Good. If you'll come this way, we'll get you settled in your quarters." He turned to Viggo. "Lieutenant, glad to have you back."

Riker ushered Sean out of the transporter room, beginning to give a brief summary of ship's procedures as he went. Stepping just outside the door, Viggo stopped and watched Sean walk down the corridor. He couldn't quite believe what had happened between them at the station, but it had been too long since someone had caused butterflies in his stomach and made his heart beat faster. "Welcome to the _Enterprise_ ," he whispered.

Sean turned and smiled, hitting Viggo square in the chest, then waved as he and Riker disappeared around the corner. {{Man, I got it bad}}, Viggo thought, pulling his bag further up his shoulder and moving in the opposite direction toward his cabin.


	2. Common Ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my version of the Enterprise-D, my timeline, definitely not 100% accurate to the real ST universe.
> 
> Written for [**stormatdusk**](http://stormatdusk.livejournal.com/). This is me attempting a more traditional story (with dialogue and everything!). Plus, I will probably only be mentioning some of the actual characters. I absolutely adore Picard and Data and I don't want to butcher them in particular.

The past few days had been busy but Sean was enjoying every minute of it. Becoming acquainted with his new medical facilities and the staff of doctors and nurses had been his first priority; getting familiar with the duty roster and crew records had been tackled next. But on a ship this size there wasn't time for a slow orientation, to sit for days to absorb every file and the details of current patients. People began to stream in on day one and he was eager to jump in.

Working non-stop helped him to focus on things other than Viggo. Whenever his mind was free to wander, those amazing blue eyes would fill his vision. The quiet confidence that radiated from the man and the way his touch both soothed and electrified regularly played in Sean's memory during the day. And at night Viggo was the feature of every dream and fantasy, making Sean's sleep peaceful yet restless. He had never been so preoccupied with anyone before, even men that he had considered special. But there was something different about Viggo, something Sean couldn't really explain or even begin to understand. He just knew he wanted more of what he only tasted a few days ago.

"And therein lies my problem," he said under his breath. Free time had been short since he started this new assignment and while he loved his work it meant he hadn't been able to see the multi-lingual engineer who had managed to captivate him in only a few minutes. He was eager to see Viggo again, to spend time getting to know what made him smile or laugh, to discover his eccentricities and learn about his life.

Sean signed off on the latest treatment plan for the one patient in intensive care, then walked out of his office just as Lt. Commander La Forge entered sickbay.

"Hey, Doc."

"Geordi. What can I do for you?"

"I bobbed when I should have weaved while playing springball last night and my wrist paid the price."

"Let's have a look." Sean took out his medical tricorder and began examining Geordi's hand and wrist. "Looks like a hairline fracture. How hard did you fall?" He moved over to the tray of equipment and grabbed a regenerator, then returned to heal the small break.

"I think it was a combination of a catch and an awkward body check."

"That would do it," Sean laughed, continuing to move the device across the injury.

"You joining us for the poker game tonight?"

"Poker?"

"The senior staff has a weekly game every Tuesday night. You should come: you get to know more about us, we get to take all of your chips."

Chuckling, Sean switched off the device. "Senior staff, huh?" he asked, trying to sound casual. Poker would be fun but there was really only one person he wanted to get to know and he wasn't part of command.

"Mostly, yeah. Viggo's always played for some reason. Probably because Will enjoys the challenge."

Sean only just managed to not jerk at the mention of the name. He turned to put the tool back on the tray. "You're all set."

"Feels great, Doc. Thanks." Geordi hopped down and started walking out. "Hope to see you tonight; Riker's quarters."

Sean stood for a moment to let the thrills that coursed through his body die down. {{I guess I'm playing poker tonight}}, he thought as he turned to head for the laboratory.

***

"You're very quiet this evening." Viggo looked up at Deanna's softly spoken words.

"Still settling back into my own skin," he replied.

She looked at him speculatively, sensing something wasn't quite right. "Well this will definitely help get you in the swing of things again."

Viggo nodded and smiled, then looked back down at the pile of chips in front of him. The first few days back from a mission were always slightly disorienting, but this time had been particularly difficult. He had resumed his engineering duties almost immediately, with the rest of his day (and most nights) filled with debriefings and completing mission reports. But he found himself constantly distracted with thoughts of the new doctor.

Sean had turned him completely upside down. Even the quickest flash of a smile and Viggo was lost to anything else around him. They had only talked for several minutes but in that short span of time Sean had filled spaces Viggo had long ago resigned to being empty. He had to fight his mind from wandering as he tried to complete system diagnostics and maintenance procedures. Remembering Sean's voice, how it draped across his skin like silk and sent waves of heat through his body, was a constant distraction.

He knew all too well the dangers of getting involved with someone on the ship. Their lives were filled with too many risks and dangers, and hearts were not easily healed once broken. But despite the potential distress, Viggo found himself wishing for a plasma burn, a broken bone ... anything that would give him an excuse to leave his station and go to sickbay.

But as each day passed, he became more frustrated and his doubts grew. What if he had read more into their meeting than was really there? What if he was mistaken that Sean seemed equally attracted to him? {{But how could I have been}}, Viggo said to himself. {{It was there in his eyes, his touch. Oh God, his touch.}}

The chirp of the door startled Viggo out of his thoughts.

"Come," Riker called and as the door slid open Viggo's attention became fixed on the entrance. Sean took a hesitant step forward, his focus narrowed only to Viggo. Deanna looked from one man to the other, then patted Viggo's arm, gathered her chips and moved to another seat.

"Sean, glad you could join us." Riker stood to greet the doctor and lead him toward the table. "I think you know everyone here."

Sean nodded politely at the group then turned to Viggo. "Good to see you again."

"Same here."

"It looks like there's only one seat left," Deanna stated airily.

Viggo blushed profusely and he ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

Sean smiled. "Thanks, Counselor," he said, sliding into the seat and instantly turning to Viggo.

"So what have I got myself into here?" he asked, half resting his thigh against Viggo's.

"I don't know. What kind of game are you looking for?"

"Challenging; fun. You should know though; I play for keeps," Sean replied, his eyes slowly sliding down to rest on Viggo's lips before he turned back to the table.

Viggo felt the air rush from his lungs and he swallowed around the instant lump in his throat.

 

They had played several hands and Viggo couldn't remember any of them. He looked at his paltry pile of chips and couldn't recall how much he had actually lost that night. The only thing he was aware of was Sean's solid presence to his right, the feel of his thigh pressed against his, and the scent he had instantly classified as the most erotic smell in the universe.

"Read 'em and weep." Geordi fanned his winning hand on the table then swept the pot over to his side. "Doc, you need to play more often."

"Hmm? Why is that?" Sean asked, pulling his attention back to the others in the room.

"You're a bad luck charm for my biggest poker nemesis," Geordi explained, gesturing at Viggo.

"I've noticed that as well," Deanna agreed. "I don't think I've ever seen you so off your game before."

Viggo opened his mouth to make an excuse when Sean's communicator sounded.

"Sickbay to Dr. Bean."

Sean sat up straighter in his chair, moving slightly away from Viggo. "Bean here."

"Ensign Garrett has had a relapse, sir. We've stabilized him but I'm concerned about the level of cellular degeneration."

"I'm on my way. Bean out." Sean stood and began heading for the door. "Everyone, thanks for the game. I'll have to win back some of my losses another night."

As the officers gave their goodbyes, Sean twisted to once again face the table. "Goodnight," he said, looking directly at Viggo.

It surprised Viggo how one man's absence could leave a gaping hole in a room. He slumped into his seat, suddenly much colder and unable to see anything but Sean's face.

***

Viggo walked into Ten Forward the next night, relieved that he was finally out from under the pile of work that always welcomed him home from one of these missions. He originally hoped to find Sean and had stopped by sickbay and his quarters, but when he wasn't in either location Viggo's nerves got the better of him and he gave up. Deciding Sean probably had a lot to take care of and wouldn't welcome being hunted down, Viggo decided to get a quick drink before settling in his cabin for the night.

He placed his order with the bartender then turned around, ever the observer even within his familiar surroundings. His eyes stopped when he reached the far corner as Sean was sitting there looking out at the star field, the light from the table casting his features in a soft glow. He seemed deep in thought and Viggo had an almost uncontrollable urge to walk over and kiss him.

Once again Sean's hands fascinated him, one resting on his thigh, the other loosely holding an empty glass. His fingers moved restlessly against the tumbler, at times only a single finger being held to the surface, then moving back to be replaced by two others. They were elegant hands, beautifully formed. Viggo imagined the strong press of a palm to the small of his back, could practically feel them cradling his skull and skimming over his skin.

Every ounce of Viggo's body wanted to go over to him, but yet he stayed at the bar. {{Does it look like he wants to be disturbed?}} the little voice in his head asked. {{You had your chance last night but you blew it.}} "Stop being such an indecisive wimp, Mortensen," he mumbled under his breath. Decision made, Viggo swallowed the last of his drink and turned to place the glass back on the bar. Guinan stood in front of him smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

"This is the first time he's been in here since coming aboard," she said, pouring out two drinks on the ledge beneath the counter. "It's your first time in since getting back." She placed the two glasses in front of Viggo. "Interesting coincidence." With another smile, she picked up his empty glass and walked to the other end of the bar. Viggo shook his head and chuckled. Never one to question Guinan, he grabbed the drinks and walked over to Sean.

"Hi," he greeted, his voice quiet, almost tentative. Gorgeous green eyes turned toward him and Viggo could feel himself falling, the smile that immediately graced Sean's face brighter than the stars outside the window.

"Hey." Sean shifted in his seat to face Viggo and motioned at the other chair. "Sit. Please."

Putting the glasses down, Viggo joined Sean at the table.

"How's your patient?"

"Garrett? Stable. I think we've seen the worse of it."

"That's great."

Sean waited for something more then decided it must be his turn. "How did the game go after I left?"

"Fine. It was fine." Viggo's voice trailed off, finding it impossible to get his nerves in check.

"Did your play improve?"

"What? Oh, no."

Sean chuckled. "Not very talkative tonight, are you?"

Viggo laughed and took a sip of his drink. "Sorry. I guess I'm unsure ... I mean you looked about 100 miles away; thought maybe I might be intruding."

Sean leaned toward Viggo. "I have a confession to make," he said, motioning for Viggo to move closer. "I only went to the game last night because I heard you'd be there. I know we just met but ..." He paused and reached out, tentatively stroking his thumb across Viggo's cheek. "Your company is always welcome."

Viggo's fingers traced the path Sean's hand had taken, a soft smile on his lips. "As is yours."

The two men settled back and began to share their lives. They talked and laughed, exchanged childhood memories and swapped embarrassing stories. And all the while both felt the warmth and connection between them grow and strengthen, something they could even taste on their tongue when they breathed. There was still the occasional nervous flutter, small niggling doubts that were only natural with such young feelings. But perhaps because of these nerves, everything between them became even more tangible and substantial, and time passed completely unnoticed until in the middle of a sentence Sean began to yawn.

"I'm sorry," he said. "But if I don't get to sleep soon I'll have to take a nap on one of my biobeds tomorrow."

"I know," Viggo replied. "I'm exhausted too. So why can't I bring myself to say goodnight?"

Sean felt his heart expand in his chest and he reached for Viggo's hand. "Come on. I'll tuck you in."

"Do I get a bedtime story too?" Viggo giggled as they stood and began walking out of the room.

"I'm too tired to think. I'll tell you a story some other time, ok?" Sean tugged him close as they moved down the corridor toward the turbolift.

Quite giddy, Viggo continued to laugh, finally stopping on a sigh as he leaned heavily against Sean and waited for the lift doors to open. "How about Friday night?"

"Pick the time and place and I'll be there." Sean turned his head slightly and took a long, slow breath, inhaling the fresh scent of Viggo's hair. He briefly closed his eyes and drifted on a wave of contentment and desire.

"Wakey wakey," Viggo murmured, nudging Sean until his eyes opened. "Get in, sleepy head."

They tumbled inside and gave their destinations, but then neither spoke until the turbolift opened at Viggo's deck. He pulled Sean into a lingering hug then stepped backwards toward the door. "Friday, holodeck 3, 17:30 hours. Don't be late." The lift doors closed and Sean's body thrummed in anticipation, still feeling Viggo's embrace.


	3. Duet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my version of the Enterprise-D, my timeline, definitely not 100% accurate to the real ST universe.
> 
> Written for [**stormatdusk**](http://stormatdusk.livejournal.com/).

Sean stood outside the holodeck trying to look casual. It wasn't that he was nervous exactly, but he had been counting down the minutes until it was time to meet Viggo all afternoon and the anticipation for the evening was making him jumpy. Trying to determine which direction Viggo would come from had only increased his agitation and standing still made him want to ricochet off the walls. So he settled for walking up and down the hallway for a few feet in each direction. Pacing didn't settle his nerves but it gave an outlet for his pent up energy.

"Hey."

The first thing Sean saw when he turned around was the light dusting of sandy hair peeking through the V-neck of Viggo's shirt. His eyes skimmed down to the smooth fit of Viggo's trousers across his hips, trailing lower to find ...

"You walked through the halls barefoot?"

Viggo stopped directly in front of Sean, so close they were almost touching. He paused there for a moment simply breathing in Sean's scent. Slowly he smiled, a wide toothy grin, then brushed his hand up Sean's arm and squeezed his shoulder.

"You'll get used to it."

Sean shivered involuntarily to Viggo's proximity and touch, but he couldn't help matching his smile. "So what's in the bag?"

"Provisions," Viggo replied, turning toward the control panel. "I hope you're hungry."

"You have no idea," Sean mumbled.

Viggo stopped typing and looked over his shoulder. "What was that?" he teased.

Sean chuckled. "You heard me, you bat. Where are you taking me?"

"Why don't you go in and find out." Viggo backed away from the computer and motioned for Sean to step forward. The doors slid open and they walked inside, the sound of rushing water immediately filling their ears.

Sean stood still surveying the exotic surroundings. The landscape was thick with a forest of dense ferns that stretched high above their heads. The fronds were a mixture of rich greens, oranges and blues, and the redolent scent of moist loam and moss dominated the air. The sky was a deep purple, dotted with only a sprinkling of stars, while two large moons hovering just above the ferns to either side illuminated the area as far as one could see.

Viggo took a firm grasp of Sean's hand and started walking down a barely discernable path toward the sound of the water. After only a couple of minutes they emerged in a clearing, the almost translucent cerise water flowing over a series of ledges creating an incredible cascade that seemed to sparkle in the pool before them.

"The Falls of Reinchi," Sean whispered, awestruck. "I've seen pictures, read stories, but I never would have imagined it'd be so beautiful in person."

He moved to the edge of the pool and knelt down, feeling the cool water spray his skin. Viggo crouched beside him and watched the emotions play across Sean's face. He carded his fingers through Sean's hair, smiling as Sean leaned into the touch before turning to look at him.

"It's a bit quieter further up the bank."

Sean nodded and followed Viggo a few more feet down the shoreline and back toward the large ferns. They settled down on the moss and Viggo began to unpack his bag.

"Wait," Sean laid his hand on Viggo's to stop him. "I ... this is so ... it's beautiful. I don't know it's just incredible; _you're_ incredible. I ..." All the words that came to mind seemed inadequate to express his feelings. Sharing this place with him was beyond anything Sean had expected from the evening, and spoke volumes to what Viggo felt for him. His heart felt full, his enchantment for this man overflowing.

He leaned forward and paused. Viggo's lips were slightly parted, his shallow breaths skimming Sean's skin. Sean smiled and slowly closed the distance between them, immediately feeling Viggo's hand cradle the back of his head, holding him in place. Sean's fingers tightened around the arm Viggo was leaning on, an anchor against the flood of sensations that threatened to overwhelm him with even this simple kiss. It was gentle and deliberate, neither deepening it beyond a slow exploration, both wanting to memorize the feeling of this first touch.

After several minutes they began to pull back, lingering over soft teasing pecks until they separated completely, smiling at each other.

"Still hungry?" Viggo asked, his thumb lazily stroking along Sean's cheek.

"What did you bring?" Sean gave Viggo one final quick kiss then inched a little further away, releasing Viggo's arm and giving him room to pull out the food.

"Well, hasperat of course, just the way Mom used to make."

"Where did you grow up that your mother made hasperat?"

"Oh, she's half Bajoran so ..." Viggo shrugged casually, reaching back into his pack. "Fried pipius claw. Don't say a thing, you'll love it."

"I don't really have the stomach for Klingon food."

"You will love it, Sean. My version of rolk stew, with sautéed heart of targ for added flavor."

"Heart of targ?!"

Viggo raised his hand. "Don't."

"But ..."

"Trust me. I'm a great cook. Ok, great programmer but I did make the hasperat."

"And I look forward to eating that."

Viggo pulled Sean closer again. "You will try it all and you'll love it," he murmured against Sean's lips, interspersing his words with kisses before sitting back. "And if you're a good boy and clean your plate, maybe I'll let you have some I'danian spice pudding and this great saurian brandy I swiped from Guinan."

"Tell you what. You tell me how you came to love Klingon food and ingredients and I promise to have at least 2 bites of everything."

"Make it three and you got a deal."

"Three and a kiss after each bite?"

"You're on."

***

After a couple of hours of eating, talking and laughing, they had settled into a comfortable silence, enjoying the steady hum of the waterfall and each other's relaxing presence. Sean was stretched out, his head on Viggo's chest, loosely holding a brandy snifter. Viggo's attention was once again fixed on Sean's hands, his fingers idly tapping the glass. This habit intrigued Viggo. There was almost a rhythm to how Sean's fingers were moving, and although he was loathe to break the quiet spell they had fallen into, his curiosity got the better of him.

"What are you doing with your hands?" he asked, moving to stroke Sean's hair, unconsciously keeping him in place.

"Hmmm?"

"This is the second time I've seen you tapping your fingers like that."

"Oh it's nothing, just a nervous habit." Sean put the glass down and clasped his hands together, just a bit too tightly.

"That's not the truth." Viggo laid his hand on Sean's who instantly fit it between his own. "You don't have to say but it can't possibly be that bad."

"I'm sorry," Sean replied, pulling Viggo's hand to his lips and gently kissing each knuckle as he spoke. "It's not really that interesting."

"Tell me anyway."

Sean let out a breath and cleared his throat.

"Sometimes I kind of write music in my head. I just sort of play around with themes but it's no big deal."

Viggo's eyes widened but he stayed perfectly still, not wanting to make Sean any more self-conscious than he already seemed to be. He should have known the man was a musician; hands like that weren't simply made for surgery. "What instrument do you play?"

"Piano."

"And you've been composing?"

"That's much too grand for what I do."

Viggo abruptly sat up, pushing Sean up as well then scooted closer until he could put his chin on Sean's shoulder.

"Play it for me?"

"What?" Sean laughed, a small blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Play it for me."

"Now I know you're crazy."

Viggo got to his feet, almost knocking Sean over in the process. "Computer. Arch."

"I haven't played in months."

"Don't care." Viggo finished working at the control panel and Reinchi shimmered out and was replaced by a small concert hall, a grand piano sitting center stage. Viggo trotted up to the stage and took Sean's hand, pulling him to his feet.

"Viggo, I ..." Sean's words were cut off as Viggo caught him in a searing kiss, rocking into him as he plundered Sean's mouth, hands squeezing and pulling Sean's hips even closer. Sean was in freefall, sinking into Viggo, his senses extraordinarily heightened. He pushed his hands under Viggo's shirt and reveled in the feel of his skin under his palms. Small gasps and moans mingled in the air and only when they desperately needed a breath did they end the kiss, still holding tightly to the other as they dragged air into their lungs. Viggo pulled his head back and traced a finger across Sean's swollen lips.

"Play for me?"

"Was that a bribe?" Sean chuckled.

"Let's call it incentive." He kissed Sean again, this time softer but no less passionate. "You don't have to be embarrassed with me, Sean."

Sean pulled Viggo into another tight embrace, placing light kisses along his jaw before pulling away and backing toward the piano. He sat down and tentatively ran through a few scales and arpeggios, the strokes becoming more confident as the seconds passed.

"Sit?" he asked, scooting over to make room for Viggo on the bench. Viggo joined him and after a brief pause Sean started with one hand, slowly fingering the melody from his mind until he began to feel the music more clearly. After a couple of minutes he added the harmony, carefully feeling his way through the fragments of a song he had been piecing together for a couple of weeks.

Viggo watched his profile instead of his hands, caught in the concentration and joy he saw there. It felt like a jolt when the music stopped and suddenly Sean's eyes were in front of him.

"That was amazing."

Sean ducked his head slightly. "I wouldn't say ..."

"I would. It was only a few bars of music but it was so moving, so beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with me."

He leaned in for another kiss, sliding his tongue across soft lips before dipping in for another extended taste. His hand caressed Sean's ear as they separated and he made note of the quick flutter of Sean's eyes in response to the touch.

"You have sensitive ears?" he asked, rubbing his thumb and forefinger along the delicate edge. Sean shuddered and swallowed, giving Viggo all the answer he needed. He continued massaging the delicate flesh watching Sean's reaction, then stifled a giggle as he began to really notice their shape.

"Are you all human, Sean?"

"What?" Sean snorted, once more surprised at the direction Viggo's conversations could take.

"Your ears," Viggo noted, flicking the top.

"Get off." Sean playfully swatted at Viggo's hand. "What about my ears?"

"They're kinda pointy. Thought maybe you had a little Vulcan in you."

"Ok, ok, Mr. Canyon Chin." After their laughter subsided, Sean patted Viggo on the thigh. "This felt good, more than good. But now it's your turn to play something."

"Play what, _Chopsticks_?"

"Do you know _Heart and Soul_?"

"Yes," Viggo said warily.

"So go on."

Viggo huffed in amusement but turned to the piano and dramatically cracked his knuckles before settling his hands on the keys. He started tapping out the accompaniment and a bar later Sean picked up the traditional melody. But as they moved into the second "verse," Sean began to improvise, taking the basic lines and adding harmonic undertones and strains of jazz, transforming the song into something inherently Sean. Fascinated, Viggo stopped playing, wanting to watch as something new was created before his eyes.

"Don't stop," Sean murmured, nudging him slightly with his elbow.

Viggo's eyes moved from Sean's hands to his face and once again felt that overwhelming need to kiss him. He felt almost dizzy but he raised his hands to begin again.

"I don't know when to start."

"Just go. I'll match you."

So Viggo started again, and the off-key clang was quickly smoothed out as Sean shifted to meet him. As they played they leaned closer together, the air in the room becoming heated and thick.

After a few rounds Viggo stopped again. "Ok, that's enough. Too much concentration for me."

Sean finished the line but didn't remove his fingers, slowly gliding them across the keys. Viggo leaned against him and instantly Sean's arm was around him holding him close. He absently stroked a hand up and down Sean's thigh, not to enflame but simply to increase the connection. The moment felt more intimate than anything either of them had experienced before, and the lack of overtly sexual touches made it even more intense.

"Do you know the words to that song?" Viggo's voice was barely audible, muffled against Sean's skin.

"No. How does it go?"

Viggo felt his nerves return with renewed strength. They had only known each for about a week, had spent even less time together, but Viggo knew he had fallen for Sean and fallen hard. Sean was clearly attracted to him, but it was probably too soon for him to even be thinking about love. And if he said the lyrics, he could chase Sean away before they even had a chance.

"Viggo?" Sean leaned slightly away to see Viggo more clearly. All the playfulness and confidence had drained from Viggo's face and Sean looked slightly concerned.

Suddenly the room shook violently and Viggo and Sean were thrown to the floor, the emergency klaxons blaring.

"Are you alright!?" Sean shouted, scrambling to his feet.

"Yeah." Viggo tried his comm badge but heard only dead air. "Communications are down. Computer! Arch!"

They headed for the exit but the doors didn't immediately open. "What the fuck is going on?" Viggo wondered, accessing the computer terminal to open the doors manually. They slid open a crack and the men pried them the rest of the way open just as another jolt shook the ship.

Sean quickly squeezed Viggo's hand before watching him hurry down the corridor toward engineering. "Be careful," he urged, before heading in the opposite direction to get to sickbay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Heart and Soul lyrics**  
>  Heart and soul, I fell in love with you  
> Heart and soul, the way a fool would do,  
> madly  
> Because you held me tight  
> And stole a kiss in the night
> 
> Heart and soul, I begged to be adored  
> Lost control, and tumbled overboard,  
> gladly  
> That magic night we kissed  
> There in the moon mist
> 
> Oh! but your lips were thrilling, much too thrilling  
> Never before were mine so strangely willing
> 
> But now I see, what one embrace can do  
> Look at me, it's got me loving you  
> madly  
> That little kiss you stole  
> Held all my heart and soul
> 
> I found the lyrics [**here**](http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/heartsoul.htm); not sure why NIH has them on their Web site but who am I to question?


	4. Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [**stormatdusk**](http://stormatdusk.livejournal.com/). This is a tech-heavy chapter, and I'm sure true Trekkies will cringe (and non-Trekkies will wonder what the hell all the babble is about). Huge thanks to [**caras_galadhon**](http://caras-galadhon.livejournal.com/) and [**moondreamer1**](http://moondreamer1.livejournal.com/), who when I didn't think I could write a Star Trek story told me not to worry about the techie stuff. :-) Another reason this took so long to finish was because I really wanted to get Data in the story. I tried to write a scene between him and Viggo and nothing felt right. I love Data too much to do him badly so he's only mentioned and the conversation is with Barclay instead.

The turbolifts were down so it took Viggo longer than normal to get to engineering, having to make his way through a series of Jefferies Tubes instead. When he finally arrived, he found the orderly confusion of a well-trained crew responding to a crisis. Now the most senior officer there, Viggo quickly began to field reports and reassign, as needed, the handful of crew that had made it to engineering.

Someone, most likely from the bridge, had already reconfigured the shields to match the modulation of whatever was attacking them. There had been a small coolant breach but it was well on the way to being sealed, and thankfully life support systems were secure and the warp core stable and intact. Methodically, they continued to restore all ship systems, starting with communications.

As basic ship functions came back online, Viggo's attention was drawn to the sensor data. When they were back on course and clear of any danger he wanted to spend a few hours studying all of it. The _Enterprise_ had flown into an unknown but very powerful energy field, hit by pulses that seemed to emit from alien structures scattered throughout this quadrant. He glanced over to one of the display units. They were spherical in shape with twisting spindles that undulated and froze in an irregular pattern. It seemed inconceivable that they had been surprised by them as they approached this star system; they now appeared to glow in the blackness of space.

"Fascinating, aren't they." Geordi clapped Viggo on the shoulder, momentarily pausing to once again look at what was threatening the ship.

"That's an understatement," Viggo replied turning from the display. "We have everything under control here. Aren't you still needed on the bridge?"

"Data's found a signal underneath, almost masked by the blasts of energy."

"A signal?"

"A Federation distress call, to be exact. I need you to reconfigure the targeting scanners to match the pulse frequencies so we can get a lock on its location."

"You got it."

Over the next several minutes they managed to align the sensor array and spectrometry cluster to get clearer data on the energy surges, and then created a direct link with the transporter coordinate controls. Soon they were confident a transport to the correct site could be completed safely.

Geordi finished his report to the Captain then turned to Viggo. "Head over to Transporter Room 3 and help O'Brien with the emitter assemblies then get into uniform. You might be needed on the ground and you need to be ready to go."

Viggo only then remembered he was in civilian clothes and barefoot, and his interrupted evening with Sean briefly came to the fore of his thoughts. He had heard a few reports from sick bay since communications were back online, and had been relieved that despite the powerful jolts that hit the ship, there had been mostly minor injuries among the crew. And he was silently proud of how quickly Sean had settled into his job, managing emergency procedures as if he had been in charge of medical for several months and not several days. He allowed himself another moment for his thoughts to stray to the handsome doctor, then logged off his computer terminal and left engineering.

***

Sean finished loading a hypospray with an isoantigen compound and added it to his newly packed medkit. He made one final check of the contents then closed it and stood for a minute giving a silent blessing to his former crew. It was because of his additional time at the Academy that he had become somewhat of an expert on treating exposure to antimatter radiation, and while now was definitely not the time to get lost in mournful thoughts he could spare a moment to give thanks that he now could help whoever was on the planet's surface and this crew should their sensors be wrong and the radiation levels were still dangerously high.

Blowing out a breath, he picked up his medkit and left to meet the rest of the away team, grateful that emergencies were the one time his transporter apprehension didn't rear its head. This wouldn't be an easy transport. Between the energy pulses still striking the ship, the atmospheric disturbance on the planet and the radiation, it was going to take skill and precision to get them down to the surface. Whether they would be close to their intended target was still anyone's guess.

He used the computer system to direct him to Transporter Room 3 to make sure he didn't make a wrong turn and was pleased that he arrived early. The away team, led by Commander Riker, was small, with Sean joining two crewmen from engineering and one security officer. Although prepared for hostilities, the real trouble they expected was a possible health risk to the crew, and Sean noted that one of the engineers was cross-trained in medical triage and could help him if he needed to quickly treat the team. Pattern enhancers were attached to their arms then, after final instructions from Riker, O'Brien transported them to the planet surface.

A strong wind buffeted them as soon as they materialized. Thick dust swirled at their feet and a mist so thick it was like standing in a gray cloud made it nearly impossible to see what was ahead.

Sean studied the readings on his tricorder. "Radiation levels are much lower than was detected on the ship," Sean shouted, trying to be heard over the wind.

"First bit of good news," Riker said. "How far are we from the signal?"

"Just one hundred meters north, sir," Lt. Okuda replied.

"Good. Keep a tight formation. It'll be too easy to lose our bearing and each other if we wander too far."

The team set out across what seemed like a wide plain heading toward a large outcropping of rocks. The ground felt like coarse gravel and once or twice Sean's feet twisted awkwardly on the stones. The air hung heavy and stagnant, so thick it was hard to take a full breath without feeling like you were choking.

When they finally reached the rocks, Sean's eyes were beginning to sting from the acrid air. He roughly rubbed his hand across them before returning his tricorder to his belt and climbing up the rocks. In a few minutes he reached the top and was looking down into a shallow crater created by the skid of the crashing shuttle a few meters ahead.

Carefully they descended into the hole and hiked the remaining distance to the craft. It didn't take long to find the people who had sent the distress signal. One was beyond help, a section of the bulkhead embedded in his chest. Sean knelt by the second man and began his examination. He fitted an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, retrieved the isoantigen hypospray, and after injecting the ampule loaded a second vial.

"His life signs are faint but steady. I can stabilize him for transport but if we don't get him back to sick bay soon he's not going to make it."

"Riker to _Enterprise_ , are you able to transport from this location?"

The silence he received in response was louder than the wind that whistled through the torn metal.

"Riker to _Enterprise_."

"There's too much interference, sir," Okuda remarked. "The electrostatic field has increased dramatically. Who knows how high it must be in the upper atmosphere."

"Is it still safe for us to be out here, Doctor?"

"The radiation levels are fine, the atmospheric changes don't pose any risk. I'm more concerned with the particulate levels. If they continue to rise the air could become unbreathable in 30, maybe 40 minutes."

"Okuda, would we have better luck contacting the _Enterprise_ if we returned to the drop site?"

"No. If anything the higher altitude could create more interference."

"Okay, gentlemen. Options."

"Maybe there's some shelter near here," Lieutenant Paris suggested. "A building or a cave."

Sean shook his head. "Even if we could find something close, it would have to be airtight to give us any kind of protection. At the rate these levels are rising by the time we found shelter the air inside would have already been fully contaminated."

"I also wouldn't recommend we move very far," Okuda added. "It's going to be harder for the _Enterprise_ to transport, and if the sensors are even more impaired they'll probably be operating blind."

"Comforting," Sean said under his breath, continuing to work on his patient but keeping one ear on the rest of the party as they discussed their alternatives. {{Dying on your first away mission. That'll probably set some kind of record.}} he thought absently. If this were happening just a year ago, the prospect of suffocating on this god-forsaken planet wouldn't have bothered him. He probably would have welcomed the end with open arms. But now. It had only been a few days but he knew he could find a family on the _Enterprise_ , find a home, even find a partner. For a moment his mind was filled with thoughts of Viggo. Mere hours had passed since they had kissed and he could still taste him, still feel him. He had no doubt that he was falling fast for this man, and it gave him a sense of calm determination to live through this.

Sean loaded another hypospray with an oxygenating serum and walked over to the crew, administering the medicine to each of them in turn.

"This should help our blood better assimilate the remaining oxygen in the air; give us a little more time."

As he approached Ensign Cruz he noted the man's agitation and his efforts to maintain his composure.

"Don't worry, lad. One way or the other we're getting off this rock."

"I have an idea that might help us," the young man said, his voice hoarse from the roughness of the air in his throat.

"All thoughts are welcome, Aiden. Now's not the time to be shy." He placed a firm hand on the man's shoulder. "You might hold the key." Sean smiled as he watched Cruz steady himself and bolster his nerves. The ensign cleared his throat, then turned toward the others.

"Commander Riker?" Cruz's voice was still slightly timid, but carried enough force to carry across the din of the wind.

"Yes."

"We might be able to jury-rig something from the shuttle's transporter and sensor systems, put something together to amplify our signal and help the _Enterprise_ locate us."

"What are you thinking, Cruz? " Lt. Okuda encouraged.

***

"What do you mean Sean is on the away team?"

The volume and stress in Viggo's voice were both elevated, and he tensed as others in engineering turned to look at them. Barclay looked like he thought Viggo would hit him at any moment.

"I'm sorry, Reg, I didn't mean to shout. You just surprised me. We don't really know what's down there. It doesn't make sense to put our Chief Medical Officer at risk, does it?"

"It's not uncommon for the doctor to be assigned to away teams," Barclay stammered, "especially when there's a medical emergency."

Viggo clenched his jaw and stared at the tops of his shoes. Of course Barclay was right. It happened all the time, nothing unusual at all. But he was still processing his feelings for Sean, still figuring out how he could find himself so attached to the man when they barely knew each other. He knew letting himself pursue whatever this was with Sean was a bad idea. After what happened to Tom he had promised himself he'd never again get involved with anyone from Starfleet. But here he was jumping head first off that cliff yet again. Losing Tom has been bad; he thought it would hurt even more if he lost Sean, too.

When he thought he had schooled his features back to something more detached and professional, he raised his head. "You said something about losing contact with them."

"Yes, the interference in the lower atmosphere has increased 20% in the last half hour and combined with the energy pulses it's knocked out communication with the away team."

"And I guess it's also made it impossible to get a pattern lock."

"The disturbances are making it impossible for the sensors to pick up anything. As I said, the last signal we had confidence of was from Dr. Bean's communicator." Barclay paused, expecting another outburst from Viggo. When none came he continued. "Geordi wants us to review the information you've collected on the energy field to see if we can find some way to counteract it. He and Data are going to join us once they finish reporting to the Captain."

Viggo nodded in understanding. He felt like he was in free fall, his stomach knotting so tightly he thought he might be sick at any moment. {{How do Starfleet couples do this year after year?}} he thought. {{I've only known the man a few days and it's hard to think straight.}} Mentally shaking himself, he pulled up all the data and his current analysis on the closest terminal.

"Does Geordi think it wasn't random chance that the bombardment increased just when the crew were transported to the planet?" he asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. "Are we looking for some kind of artificial intelligence here?"

"I don't know. The commander wasn't too specific and I didn't think to ask him. I know it was a theory that was raised early on but none of the probes came back with any definitive ..."

"That's ok, Reg. Let's just find a way to get our people home."

 

The final solution was very risky, but as the only viable option the Captain had instructed them to pursue it. To use the pulses from the structures to amplify the ships sensors and the targeting scanners meant the ship would be vulnerable to the blasts of energy. They'd have only one minute to get a lock on the crew and transport them to the ship before the shields would have to be raised. If the away team had moved too far from either Sean's last location or where they originally transported, the chances of being able to locate and evacuate them decreased considerably. To make matters worse, if what little data they had been able to collect on the atmosphere was accurate, the crew on the ground didn't have a lot of breathable air left.

It took about ten minutes to finish the final preparations. Viggo was assigned to work with O'Brien in the transporter room to help make the quick adjustments and reprogramming that would likely be necessary to maintain a pattern lock and complete the transport. Ideally they would send the crew directly to sick bay in case anyone needed immediate medical attention, but the extra focus of the transport chamber was required to safely complete the materialization cycle. Several medical personnel were on hand to administer treatment the moment they were safely on board.

When the time came to begin the sequence, Viggo felt an unnatural sense of calm settle over him. Working to get everything in place for the rescue attempt, he had come to a decision about what he wanted to do about Sean. For now his only goal was to get him back on the _Enterprise_.

The shields dropped and the initial scan sequence activated. The first string of energy pulses rocked the ship and Viggo quickly aligned the reference beam to their frequency. To everyone's surprise the scanners picked up a much stronger signal than anyone expected.

"I think our friends on the ground found a way to help us," O'Brien said, the relief evident in his voice. A pattern lock was acquired as the next volley struck and the transporter cycle was completed within a matter of seconds.

Viggo waited until Sean had materialized on the platform, stayed at his station just long enough to see those unforgettable eyes meet his. Reassured that the doctor was ok, he quickly left the room, leaving several confused shipmates in his wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see what I had in my head when thinking about the structures that attacked the ship, [look here](http://www.chihuly.com/installations/phipps/tumble004.html).


	5. Convergence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [**stormatdusk**](http://stormatdusk.livejournal.com/). I want to thank everyone who's stuck with me since October. This last chapter took so long because the only way to get to the happy was to get them talking and dialogue and me are not friends. Plus, I couldn't decide how it should end. It's all a mess. :-)
> 
>  _jitat_ is stolen from something I read online several weeks ago, I didn't write it down and can't remember where it's from. But it sounded like a good futuristic swear word.

Sean checked the duty roster for the third time. Once again it said that Viggo was off duty for the next several hours. _It's now or never,_ he thought. He got up from the desk, smoothed his uniform down and ran a hand through his hair. Two weeks had passed since the away mission and other than some perfunctory acknowledgements early on he hadn't seen Viggo at all. It wasn't for lack of trying.

He was beginning to feel like a stalker, using most of his free time to try and track Viggo down. At first he'd simply used the communicator but after several curt and one-sided "conversations" and more ignored comm messages than he could count, Sean had to accept that Viggo was deliberately avoiding him. Still not sure what could have happened, he tried using the computer to locate Viggo, but after getting no response at Viggo's quarters only to hear the computer inform him that Lt. Mortensen was in fact there, Sean began to get angry.

It was obvious Viggo didn't want a relationship, but even though they had only known each other for a couple of weeks Sean couldn't just walk away without having at least one final talk. Whether Viggo wanted to admit it or not, they had connected more in this short span of time than many people do over several months and he needed to understand why it wasn't going to go anywhere. He was intent that this was the day he'd finally get some answers.

As evasive as Viggo had been, Sean had a general idea about his patterns and habits. Those had changed a bit in the last couple of weeks. Instead of heading to ten forward at the end of his shift, Viggo now seemed to routinely go to his quarters first. Where he disappeared to when he didn't want to be found Sean didn't know, but if he timed this correctly he'd be able to catch him before he left.

Sean stopped in front of Viggo's door and waited a full minute after the chime to see if he would answer. "Computer," he said, walking down the hall a short distance, "locate Lt. Mortensen."

"Lt. Mortensen is in his quarters."

Two crew members passed and Sean tried to shake off the agitation that must clearly be written on his face. He took a quick glance behind him, put on his best concerned doctor expression and strode purposefully back toward Viggo's door. Yes, it wasn't particularly ethical to enter someone's cabin with an unwarranted emergency medical override, but Sean was pretty sure he could convince Viggo not to report him, even if they did have a fight in the next few minutes. He took a deep breath but before he could give the voice command the door slid open and Viggo walked out nearly running into him.

They stood for a moment staring at each other, both startled and slightly unnerved to be in such close proximity again. Finally, Sean gathered himself.

"You've been avoiding me."

Although Viggo had planned several excuses as to why he'd been unavailable for nearly two weeks, now face to face with Sean he couldn't say any of them. If this was going to end he didn't want it to be with lies. But he hadn't planned on doing this now, and his surprise at having Sean so close to him again after all this time made it difficult to find the right words.

Sean's irritation and sadness grew as he watched Viggo's mouth open and close a couple of times. Clearly Viggo didn't want to see where this could lead and now he wasn't mature enough to just tell him.

"Can't think of a lie fast enough?"

Viggo huffed a mirthless laugh. "Didn't want to use the ones I already had." They stood there for another minute in uncomfortable silence, the desire to speak, to yell, to hold, to hit, bouncing between them.

Finally, Viggo exhaled sharply through his nose and stepped back into his quarters. "Want to come in and talk?"

"Thanks." Sean walked past him and stopped a few feet into the room. This wasn't how he expected to see Viggo's quarters for the first time. It was so Viggo, filled with a mix of artifacts, paintings, an assortment of engineering parts and tools strewn across the desk, and old books stacked haphazardly on the floor and on almost every available surface.

Sean wanted to touch everything, learn about Viggo through them. He imagined his enjoyment at spending months, maybe years, slowly turning his own space into a home with Viggo's help. But as he turned, those hopes dissipated against the wall Viggo had built between them. He stood squared off, arms crossed and jaw set. Sean sighed, trying to push down his disappointment and get the answers he needed as quickly as possible.

"I guess the first thing I want to know is why."

"I wasn't ready to have this conversation with you so I tried to keep my distance."

"No, I want to know why you don't want to continue what we started here."

Sean detected a subtle shift in the steel in Viggo's eyes, a slight hitch of surprise in his breathing. It was like seeing a small notch of stone fall off the corner of an impenetrable wall.

"You cut straight to the heart of things, don't you?"

"Doesn't seem to be much point in messing about."

"No, I guess not." Viggo uncrossed his arms and walked over to the desk, picked up an isolinear chip and began to card it between his fingers. He turned around to face Sean, leaning back against the cluttered surface.

"It isn't a matter of 'want,' Sean. More that I can't; that _we_ can't."

"Can't."

"If I had been assigned to the away team too and you only had four doses of what we needed to survive, could you have made an impartial decision?"

"I'd just apportion the meds between you."

"Say it wasn't possible."

"Why?"

"I don't know, say only a full dose has any effect."

"Viggo ..."

"Or what if I was on the away team and you were here on the ship. Could you have done your job to the best of your abilities?"

"Yes."

"You wouldn't have been distracted by worrying about me?"

"I can worry and do my job. I can be scared and do my job. From what I hear we have you largely to thank for getting us off that planet so you obviously did your job."

Viggo's eyes dropped to the ground as he cleared his throat, suddenly finding it constricting against his words. He pushed off the desk and turned away from Sean, worried he would lose his composure, not wanting to let Sean see him so vulnerable and open. "I'm sorry but it's too hard. The smart thing to do is eliminate the risk."

Sean stared at Viggo's back in disbelief. It was easy to see that regardless of what he said, there was something else bothering Viggo and Sean couldn't understand why he didn't just say it. There was something out of character about this reaction. Viggo always appeared to live for the moment, someone who dove in head first and relished new challenges and experiences. For him to be this afraid of getting involved with Sean didn't make sense.

He watched Viggo for a second more, not sure if he wanted to punch or hug him, his pride warring with his heart. "You're lying."

Viggo quickly turned, about to protest, but Sean silenced him.

"No, I believe that's part of it but the real reason is something much different." He slowly walked toward the door, only just managing to keep himself from reaching out to Viggo as he passed. "When you're ready to tell me why this thing between us is ending before it really gets started, you come and find me."

Viggo watched Sean leave, clenching his hands behind his back, desperately wanting to beg him to stay. As the door slid shut, sadness and regret sat heavily on his chest and he threw the chip across the room in frustration.

***

"When can I expect the return of my saurian brandy?"

Viggo startled at Guinan's voice, surprised at her sudden appearance at the shuttlecraft door.

"Jitat," he swore under his breath. "Give a man a heart attack why don't you."

Guinan sat down in the pilot seat opposite Viggo, as always instantly at home in whatever space she was in. "Did you think I'd forgotten you took some of my finest from the special collection?"

"No, and I'm sorry. I've already put out a few feelers and I should have a replacement bottle for you when we stop at the next starbase."

"Good. Now you can stop hiding in shuttlecrafts and I can give you the present I brought for you." She pulled a small hardbound book out of the folds of her robe and handed it to Viggo. It was very old, the cover beginning to fray and the binding cracked.

He turned the book around in his hand a couple of times, looking for a title. "What is this?"

"It's a book by a man named Odön György. He advocated that the only true path was that of a hermit and encouraged everyone to abandon human contact and live a solitary existence. That this was the only way to achieve ... how did he put it? ... 'total happiness and a seat by God's side.'"

Viggo looked from Guinan to the book and back, growing more agitated. "I imagine you're trying to tell me something."

"Think of it as inspiration for the paper you're planning to write on seclusion. Maybe you could adapt it to 24th century life. I hear the moons of Endor would be ideal if you want to avoid any kind of sentient life form. I'm sure once you've resigned your commission Captain Picard would be willing to drop you there."

 _I don't have time for this_ he thought, putting the book on the console and trying not to lose his temper. He sat quiet but tense, looking out the back of the shuttle and tightly clenching his jaw. "You're not usually this subtle. Give me a break and say what's on your mind."

"I just wanted to give you the book, find out about my brandy." Guinan stood and began to walk back out of the shuttle. "Of course," she paused, turning back to face Viggo, "if you were really the type who loved total isolation you wouldn't work on a starship or enjoy immersing yourself in other cultures. Maybe you can get something from sickbay that can suppress this need you have for being around people."

"Damn it, Guinan. You know better than most why I can't ..." Guinan's hand on his shoulder stilled his thoughts. He raised his head and for the first time looked her in the eyes.

"I know why you _think_ you can't. But would Tom have wanted you to be alone for the rest of your life? To never fall in love again?"

"But what if it's more with Sean? What does that mean?"

"It means you're a very lucky man." She stood for a minute more just holding Viggo's gaze, then smiled and walked out of the shuttle.

Viggo continued to look at the open hatch long after she had left the shuttle bay, his thoughts both clearer and more confused than they had been in days. He had been volunteering to work second shifts for the last week, taking assignments that first-year cadets at the Academy could complete with their eyes closed, all so he wouldn't have to be alone in his quarters and with his thoughts for any longer than necessary.

Ever since their last meeting, in unguarded moments Viggo had imagined a different conversation, of opening up to Sean and of Sean's empathy and understanding. He pictured the two of them sharing a bottle of wine and talking all night, and of there being no more guilt or fear. It didn't surprise him at how much he wanted Sean in his life, but it did frighten him. Sean had been true to his word and Viggo hadn't seen him even in passing for the past week. He knew the sadness over the last few days would eventually lessen, but could he take the chance that allowing something so special to get away from him could mean living with constant sorrow?

Of course, there was the very real possibility that Sean had had enough, that there would be no chance to explain and fix things. But if all he could hope for was friendship then he'd be happy with that. They had to talk, if for no other reason than to clear the air and make sure Sean wouldn't hate him.

Viggo turned around to finish his work, now counting the minutes until he could send Sean a message and arrange to meet. He took Guinan's book off of the control panel and, out of curiosity, began to flip through it. Page after page were blank. Turning to what should have been the title page, he found a note in Guinan's distinctive handwriting:

_To help record new memories_

Viggo smiled for the first time in days.

***

Viggo stood awkwardly just inside the arboretum entrance as Sean walked in. He looked calm, but Viggo could tell he was also guarded and slightly less composed.

"Thanks for coming," Viggo said nervously.

Sean simply nodded then waited for Viggo to continue. After so many days had passed since they had last talked, Sean had started to believe that Viggo was never going to contact him. The brief message had not been expected, and the arboretum was the last place he would have picked for a meeting. But while still subject to the occasional slow simmer under the surface, his anger had diminished considerably and now he just wanted to hear what Viggo had to say. He thought he had given up entirely on the possibility of a relationship with this man, but now that he saw him again those niggling hopes had resurfaced. But Viggo wasn't really looking at him and it seemed that this was going to be a very short conversation.

Shifting his weight from one foot to another, Sean coughed quietly. "I'm listening."

 _He's here_ , Viggo repeated to himself, _Sean is here and he seems willing to listen._ He gave a weak smile and refocused on Sean.

"There's something I want to show you. Do you mind?"

Sean shook his head and gestured for Viggo to lead the way. He followed him to a small area toward the center of the room surprisingly hidden from most of the arboretum. The plants here were simple compared to the more exotic specimens around them, but their beauty was undeniable. Leaves mostly of pale green and cinnabar, they resembled a mix of ivy and rusted maple leaves, the stems twining together in an obviously planned random pattern that captivated the eye. In the center a small, smooth stone was kept clear of the plants and Sean noticed words had been etched on its surface. He knelt down to read it.

"It says 'For the love of Thomas Draa,'" Viggo said, his tone even quieter than normal. "In another two weeks it'll be five years since he died."

Sean lightly traced his fingers across the lettering then stood, unconsciously bringing them to his chest before turning to Viggo. The gestures didn't go unnoticed and Viggo laughed at himself for doubting Sean wouldn't immediately understand the significance of this marker. He stood just looking at Sean for a few moments, grateful that he had come into his life.

"We were together for two years before he was killed; freak accident with one of the plasma variant circuits in astrophysics. Before that it was Florin Naomh, my roommate at the Academy. We weren't 'in love' but I did love him. He was the first person I ... that I ever had sex with. He died in another stupid accident. And before that my father."

"Viggo." Sean moved forward, unable to listen without trying to provide some form of comfort, but Viggo quickly stepped away, keeping the distance between them.

"I wasn't there for any of them. I loved them and they all died alone."

Viggo stopped, not wanting to explain things like this. Suddenly, he was acutely aware that they were in a very public space and he mentally kicked himself for not choosing a more private location. He felt exposed but he could hardly expect Sean to follow him around the ship just to hear an explanation. He moved to sit along one of the low walls that surrounded another planting area. Sean sat beside him, but this time when Sean reached for his hand he didn't pull away.

"I used to think what made it hurt even more was that I hadn't been there. They were dumb, meaningless accidents and I couldn't do anything to keep them from happening. But if something had happened to you on that planet it would have been for a good cause and I wouldn't have been absent or helpless. And I realized it would have hurt me more than almost any other loss in my life."

Viggo looked down at their joined hands and felt this overwhelming need to hold on tighter. He raised his eyes and the compassion and patience in Sean's face drained the rest of his apprehensions away, gave him confidence and a newfound determination to make Sean understand.

"The mission, the circumstances, it turns out none of it mattered. Losing a man I'd only known for a few days would have been too much. And if you mean that much to me now, then was I lying to Tom all those years? It felt like I was not so much betraying him but diminishing him."

"It's been five years, Viggo. You're allowed to move on. Do you really believe we're only given one shot at it?"

"I honestly never thought about it until your away mission, and on top of being afraid for you I had all of this guilt and doubt."

"Do you still feel like it's dishonoring your relationship with Tom to have feelings for me?"

"A little, yes. But I recognize it and I'm working on it; I _want_ to work on it. I should have talked to you and I'm sorry for shutting you out. I'm so sorry, Sean."

Sean raised their hands and brushed a kiss across Viggo's knuckles. "It's ok. There were some days I wanted to tell you to go jump out the nearest airlock," he chuckled, giving Viggo's hand one final squeeze. "But mostly I've just been sad and worried and kind of confused."

"I guarantee I'll probably confuse you more if you stick around."

"Then I'll just have to get used to a little uncertainty."

Viggo smiled, feeling almost weightless as he felt the full strength of Sean's feelings surround him.

Sean returned the smile, inching to sit closer to Viggo. "Tell me about Tom."

***

Viggo tried to relax as he stood outside Sean's cabin but inside he felt like his guts were spinning like the rings around Kithee IV. It had been two days since he and Sean had talked and while he knew medical had been busy handling an influx of patients from a disabled cargo ship, he couldn't help getting more and more nervous as each day passed. He still worried that Sean might have lingering doubts and he wanted nothing more than to dispel them.

After what seemed like hours, the door finally slid open.

"Viggo."

Sean's smile was brilliant and inviting as he ushered Viggo inside. He finally was back on a regular schedule after overseeing emergency operations, and he couldn't contact Viggo fast enough. He loved being a doctor but the latest crisis couldn't have come at a worse time, just when he wanted to spend time with Viggo. _Then again_ he thought _we'll have to get used to that._ Just thinking about a future together made him smile even more, and this time Viggo couldn't help but join in.

"I bet we look like a bunch of giddy school girls," Sean joked, still unable to reign in his excitement and happiness.

"Let's just try to keep the hearts off our I's and I think we'll be ok."

Chuckling, Sean ducked his head, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck before looking back up at Viggo. He felt a mad rush of desire as he looked into those grey-blue eyes, so deep and full of life. Moving forward he traced two fingers down Viggo's jaw, lightly caressing his chin with his thumb before dropping his arm and stepping closer.

"Why haven't I kissed you yet?"

Viggo shrugged, his smile softening, and then the space between them closed, the kiss brief but full of care and promise. They pulled apart and stood for a moment relaxing into this new place, a space both comforting and exciting and assuredly right and true.

"I have something for you." Sean took a couple of steps backwards then turned to cross the room.

Tearing his eyes away, Viggo began to look around. Granted Sean hadn't been onboard for long but Viggo was surprised at how little was actually here. The room was practically clinical, with sparse, standard-issue decor and almost nothing personal in sight. The only thing of Sean's that Viggo could see was a [Mataline II piano](http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Mataline_II_piano) and several copper colored rods beginning to form a geometric design on the coffee table. He walked over to take a closer look, impressed with the process Sean had made on the game of arcyon he had given him when he first arrived.

"I never thanked you properly for that," Sean said, walking over to join him. "It's more challenging than [kal-toh](http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Kal-toh) and a lot of fun."

"Of course you thanked me," Viggo gently admonished, sitting down on the sofa next to Sean. "But I didn't mean for you to have it be your only decoration."

"What?"

"Where's Sean in this room?"

"Well, I didn't bring a lot with me on my Academy sabbatical and haven't collected much since. So I guess it is pretty stark."

"Oh shit, I didn't think."

"It's ok," Sean reassured, stroking a hand down Viggo's arm. "Anyone else would have started replacing things; it's been long enough. It's always taken me time to settle in a new place. Maybe you could help me."

"I'd be happy to. You always seemed like a plant man to me. We could talk to Keiko about ..."

"Hold on. There's plenty of time for that. Right now, I want to give you this." Sean opened his hand to reveal a small box.

"Is it a ring?"

Sean barked out a burst of laughter. "Not bloody likely."

"What, I'm not marriage material?" Viggo huffed in mock offense.

"Just shut up and open the damn box."

"Oooh, I bet you have a great bedside ..." Viggo stopped abruptly as he looked inside the box. "It's an [Elanin singer stone](http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Elanin_singer_stone), isn't it?"

"Mm hmm. It sings something different for everyone who holds it. My father gave it to me when I made Commander."

"I can't take this."

"Well, it's not the actual gift. I want to compose something based on what the stone sings for you so don't pick it up yet. When you touch it I want to be able to concentrate."

"I don't know what to say," Viggo murmured, incredibly touched by Sean's offer. He slowly shook his head. "Really Sean, that's still too much. You shouldn't ..."

A lingering kiss cut off the rest of his words, Sean's hand cradling his head and holding him in place. Sean moved slightly away, but continued to idly massage along the nape of Viggo's neck.

"I can't think of anyone I'd rather write music for so enough of that. But just so you know, if you try and hide from me again I will pull rank and have you confined to sickbay for as long as it takes to bring you to your senses."

"Doesn't that break every kind of Starfleet regulation, Doctor?"

"I guess you'll have to stick around so I don't lose my commission."

"Your rank is safe with me."

"Good." Sean settled back on the sofa, pulling Viggo with him, an arm draped comfortably across his shoulders. "Now, tonight is our second date so that means a little conversation, dinner and a movie ..."

"Dinner and a movie?"

"Aye, then maybe share a root beer float ..."

"Where, at the old soda fountain on Main Street?"

"Too old-fashioned?"

"I'd do old-fashioned with you any day," Viggo whispered, "but for now let's skip all that and just make out on the sofa."

Sean smiled slowly, pulling Viggo even closer. "Now that sounds like a proper date."


End file.
